I have decided that this shall be my 21st birthday. All hobbits like myself must bring beer and cheese. Dwarves, we are not playing the Ring of Fire lest another elf redecorates my bathroom floor with leaves, berries and stomach lining. You know they can’t handle that much alcamahols. In fact, no Middle Earth creature can. Except you weird Khazâd folk. Bilbo is not invited. Anyone who smokes a pipe can enter into a smoke-ring-blowing contest later in the night; Gandalf, you can’t enter because your a wizard. Wizards cheat. Like blowing smoke-ships, who does that? All knights must leave their swords at home, not everyone likes big blades and we don’t want the hobbits to feel threatened. I promise the Nazgûls aren’t invited – you’re all safe (unless Saruman gets drunk; you know what let’s not invite him either). Finally, can I have fireworks that turn into dragons? Sweet. Aragorn, you’re dancing with me. Now all we need are a few fiddles and a tambourine.
-This is a scheduled post. I am not online. 🙂
- This Week in GIFs (videogum.com)