Would YOU Fall For Lord Voldemort If…

So, first of all, this amazing fan-made Beauty and the Beast/Harry Potter trailer:

Anything with Emma Watson in will clearly always be a Hermione AU opportunity. I wish I’d never given up video editing as a hobby now, but moreover, it got me thinking about what a hideous relationship this would be.

Bare with.

First of all: no way do I take this video seriously. It just got me thinking, yeah?

What would Voldemort – a pretty 2D evil villain – have to do to be forgivable? Probably impossible, he sought genocide and tortured peeps for fun. If you watch the trailer again, those clips of Voldemort actually showed expressions of vulnerability. It made me think more about how some romance stories look at forgiving someone for terrible sins and helping them to be better.

So if Voldemort stopped killing people and learned the error of his ways, what would you say he’d have to do/change before you’d fall in love with him, despite his track record for murder and torture? Is it even possible for you? It must have happened somewhere in history…

What characters have you forgiven for heinous crimes? At what point could you never forgive a character, despite their depth?

One example from me: I could never forgive Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones, who deserves whole posts to talk about why. Short version: even if Cersei suddenly felt truly remorseful for all the people she has murdered and betrayed – or for those her son Jeoffrey tortured and murdered and she pretended not to notice – her cruelty has ruined and obliterated the lives of literally hundreds of people. I feel sick whenever she’s on screen because she enjoys the suffering she’s caused.

She manipulates and abuses those around her, including her own children, her lover/brother, and family. Any flicker of remorse she seems to feel is only when she gets caught. Despite her fantastic depth of motivation and feeling, I don’t think I could forgive her. It would take an intense character shift and a lot of genuine acts of kindness and generosity for me to perhaps forgive Cersei Lannister.

On the flip side, I forgave Regina Mills from Once Upon A Time. Again, a cold, selfish, murderous, and extremely manipulative woman who I loved to despise. But eventually, she embarked on a difficult journey to reform her core self. She remains sarcastic, quick-to-judge, and wildly controlled by her emotions, but as a person, she grew capable of deep internal reflection and struggled hard to be better.

Both of these women share the same motivator: to love, protect, and keep hold of their children. Both are great characters, but one of them I really want dead.

Weather Report: The Basilisk in Your Pasta


The South West of England will continue to see frequent and unpredictable bursts of heavy showers and crisp sunshine every day of this week, so don’t forget your rain repellent umbrellas no matter how deceivingly warm it seems.

Those in North London should be wary of lightning strikes today, since thirteen year old Annabella Hackhop reacted badly to getting drenched in water by a speeding muggle car. The young witch is not being charged for casting the spell, as she claims it was an instinctive magical reaction that she had not intended to happen, and the Ministry’s Accidental Magic Reversal Squad should have the lightning cleared away by this afternoon.

Due to an awful incident involving an elderly wizard and his experimentation in homemade dungbombs, the glorious sunshine in East Riding might not be so welcome after all. The stink is potent for miles and truly foul, not helped by the beautiful weather Yorkshire is due all week. Ahmer Laham is being treated for magical burns after his fifth batch of dungbombs exploded in his garden brazier. The Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee are telling local muggles that a gas line combusted and hit a sewer system.

If you’ve been brewing any lunar dependant potions this month, don’t forget that tonight is the first day of the full moon.

And a quick traffic notification: no one else is permitted to apparate into Diagon Alley today due to a pile up of witches and wizards arriving at the same time for the touring performance of the French rock band ‘The Basilisk in Your Pasta’. The crush of folk is heavy and too many of the travellers were uncomfortable with apparition, resulting in a lot of vomit.

[A/N: Literally, honestly, tonight is a full moon in the UK.]

Meddling in Muggle Theatre

I applied to be a writer for Hogwarts is Here a couple of years ago, and my application was successful! But sadly, the acceptance email went to my junk folder, and I discovered it two weeks after they’d sent it, which was apparently deplorable. I never even got a ‘sorry, you replied too slow’. I liked the content I wrote for them, however, so my Quibbler articles shall have a home on my blog. Hello, 2016.

Meddling in Muggle Theatre

Beauty and the Beast

Wizarding theatre has been in decline, according to directors such as Plepbin Eggum, famous for his adaptation of Three Wizards and the Rolling Trolls, for the past fifty years. He stated that the same dusty fables had graced our stages for so long that even fairies would be tired of sweeping up the moral residue for their spells. Whatever that means. He went on about fairy dust for quite some time.

Continue reading

Every day I’m DUMBLIN’

I’m a busy cake. I’ll be posting about the wonders of Yevon Script and Squidoo soon. I simply had to share this as I didn’t want to shove it on my ‘Willow?’ page like a cluster-bomb of images.

If you cannot dance like the Dumbledoor you are not invited to next week’s party. This is a notice: practice. I expect all attendants to have a Dumblin’ Dance Off and all those who fail instantly will be spending the rest of the evening with Filch. OK, so maybe just an hour or two. Second notice: practice. Practice in the shower, whilst cooking eggs, as you walk through Diagon Alley, as you wait for that potion to brew, in your sleep. The Dumblin’ winner will receive a yellow rat (we made Fred and George’s buttermellow spell WORK!) and close runners up can have a hug from the Dumblin’ man himself. Please leave all toads at home. Those who drink too much fire whiskey have a tendency to squash them. Yuck. See you soon.

Get Dumblin’.

NaNoWriMo Day 23: Quick Slap

I’m not sure how to explain it but I feel like Severus Snape (note Snape’s placid swingng action) and Ron Weasley (note Ron’s face) at the SAME TIME:

I’m trying to tell myself that I haven’t given up with NaNoWriMo, but I think I have taken on too much this year. I’m losing site of the finish line and am pushing forward whenever I can. I don’t think I’ll make it but I’ll keep writing when I have time and energy to spare.

Useful tip I picked up from NaNoWordSprints: write in white. When the text is white you cannot stop to correct typos, agonise over grammar or improve imagery. I actually found I crafted a pleasant and aesthetic scene doing this – possibly the best I’ve splurged out in the past few days.

Writer’s stress: ‘Is my character developed enough’? ‘Is the plot coherent’? ‘Should I kill off character B even though I really like zem’? If these are the only thing getting you down, plaguing your dreams and pissing you off: it’s a good life. You’re doing OK. Keep going and don’t let your inhibitions get you down. I swear, these are great questions to be asking yourself and if you’re novel isn’t on your mind most of the time, then it probably won’t be on the reader’s mind, either.

If you’re stress is making you ill and is caused by a combination of factors then it’s OK to put the pen down. I know there are hundreds of pep-talks telling you to keep pacing on, don’t worry about the world trying to bug you for attention, but they aren’t law. Don’t make yourself ill, like I did. I’ve acknowledged that I can’t flog myself into achieving everything and NaNoWriMo is the thing that should take least priority. Writing a novel is a huge task and should be enjoyed, especially if you plan on making it your career, like I do.

Do your best, write in white, love your novel for all its current flaws and stay happy. ❤

My Five-Year-Old-Self has found satisfaction.

Last night, on a spontaneous whim, my boyfriend took me to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: part 2. This series has been a constant throughout my childhood, woven into the fabric of my development, and etched into my heart. It is no exaggeration when I say I am emotionally attached to the characters of Harry Potter.

For the past fourteen years I have known and grown up with Harry, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. I can’t remember every plot detail but I can tell you silly things like: Remus’ son is named after his wife’s father, Teddy. Don’t try playing HP trivia games with me.

During the seventh film, when Harry discovers Snape’s past and learns what he must do to kill Voldemort, the tears flooded over my cheeks and down my neck. Here was the moment where my fantasy hero was closest and lost to me all at once: a moment where Harry – self-absorbed dick that he is – is braver than I could ever be. I wanted to wail, which is unlike me. I wanted to sob my heart out but somehow I manged to half-strangle myself into silence.

For those who have invested a huge chunk of themselves into the series, this film pulls it all together. It’s not the end, it’s satisfaction. Fourteen years is very a long time to love and wait for visual indulgence.

Many criticise the epilogue and I admit to hating it when I read it for the first time, too. It seemed corny, tacky and downright cheap to my fifteen year old self. But now that I’ve watched it, seen all the films this past week with an older perspective, I feel complete. Everything has been tied up and I think fans deserve that. Having watched the epilogue I feel utterly explosive (in an epic, liberated and satisfied sort of way) and perhaps that’s because I’m now planning and making my own future – my adult life: children, a career, a home…

I’ve grown up with Harry. Thank you, Joanne Kathleen Rowling. I can’t wait to read to my children, as my father did for me.